Doing Life Together

I’m over at Adam McHugh’s blog today, writing about my struggle to love my own quiet.

(If I were to stick an evangelical cliche onto it, I’d call it my struggle with “doing life together.”)

Adam wrote this great book called Introverts in the Church. I’ve been working my way through it over these last couple of weeks, and I’ve been challenged and encouraged in the reading.

My goal here, at the How to Talk Evangelical Blog, has always been to try to re-see aspects of faith through a different lens. I’d never considered, though, the lens of personality. Mine. Yours. Each of us distinct; each of us sewn together exactly right; each of us made to say something unique about God.

Wherever you fall on that Introvert-Extrovert spectrum, I hope you’ll take a few minutes to come read. My hope is that you will find some freedom to follow the course of Love in your own, radical way.

Here’s how it starts:

Like all bad ideas, it started off sounding like a really good idea.

It came white-hot, a spark off of our discussion of Acts 2 – that end bit about the early church where they all sold their possessions and lived together. Had everything in common. 

It sounds like a glowy Jesus utopia when you read it aloud in a group, and we were, after all a house church. We were committed to pursuing community in new, out-of-the-box ways. [Continue reading here]


8 thoughts on “Doing Life Together

  1. Addie, I loved your post on Adam’s blog! My wife and I are introverted, her moreso. I’ve learned to fake it. 🙂 And nothing sounds more terrible to me than forced Christian “community.”

    It took a long time for me to learn how to deal with my in-laws. They are notoriously quiet people. I thought that was abnormal. I still kind of think it is. But I figured out that I don’t have to force conversation when I am around them. It is enough to sit in the same room together. And that’s really what community is about – not feeling like we have to force it. If some families want to all live together and be “radical,” so be it. But to assume that that is the only way is to take something that is good for some people and turn it into a millstone, a weight around our necks.

    1. Hi Matt. Thanks so much for the kind note and for sharing your own experience. LOVED this line: “that’s really what community is about – not feeling like we have to force it.” Thanks!

  2. Oh man, Addie – another of your guest posts that are no longer accessible! Introverted Church has gone the way of Defunct (see “Born Again” post). Is this one in your book, too, or can you post it elsewhere?

      1. Thank you!! As a fellow introvert, I couldn’t wait to read this one (though, let’s be honest, your writing is resonating so deeply that I’m excited to read it all [just got the book yesterday!])

        About 3 years ago, my husband and I moved in with close friends for about 9 months while my husband finished his last year of law school – both couples had a toddler, a 14 month old boy and an 18 month old girl (and our friends had their second child 3 months in). We are all believers and we are all introverts (but to different degrees). It was an interesting experiment and, while I was certainly ready for my own space when we left, I find myself fantasizing about doing it again and what I’d do differently to so it would last longer.
        The good parts were wonderful – morning coffee talk together after the husbands went to work/school while the kids played on the floor; the snow day all 6 of us spent playing in the snow and drinking hot chocolate; the day the new baby came home and we got to introduce the toddlers to an infant….
        We will never have friends like that family. It’s been 3 years (and 2 new babies) since we moved a few hours away and we still make a point to see each other as often as possible and it never feels like we’ve missed a beat.

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